Judge and Jury

I’m 19, diagnosed ADD and been struggling with some other thing/things additionally (currently in the laborious process of diagnosis! but somewhere in the realms of depression, anxiety, bpd or bipolar as these are things I’ve constantly been misdiagnosed as having!)

I was wondering if anyone else has a problem about the stigma of mental illness? That the way I feel the way I want to express myself is so true and desperate but as soon as pen touches paper or fingers touch phone screen it turns into hearing those words coming from an ‘attention seeking teen’. I can’t speak without judging myself for the words. I can’t say ‘depression’ without immediately seeing a pissed off 13 year old who’s just been grounded. I feel I am seeing these things through the eyes of a mental illness hater. So this therefore makes it all the more hard to talk about. As the worry of other people judging is preceded more brutally by my own cruel judgement. How do I show people my feelings without the constraints of the English dictionary?

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